Trust-Based Selling, Put the Focus on Your Prospect Not Yourself

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Trust-Based Selling, Put the Focus on Your Prospect Not Yourself with Ari Galper

As trust becomes the most important currency in the new economy, the act of selling as a de-humanizing process with endless “chasing”, has been completely re-invented and anchored in the timeless values of integrity and trust – through Trust-Based Selling.

About Ari

Ari Galper, Founder & CEO of Unlock The Game®

Ari Galper is the World’s #1 Authority On Trust-Based Selling and creator of Unlock The   Game®, a new sales mindset and results-oriented approach that has revolutionized the world of selling. With a Masters degree in Instructional Design, which strongly analyzes the way people learn, and supplying nearly two decades of experience in direct selling in a variety of industries, Ari has pioneered a breakthrough sales system – Unlock The Game – through his experience working with iconic companies such as UPS and QUALCOMM over the past twenty years.

Built on the concept of authentic communication and trust, his visionary approach to selling relieves the pressure for both the seller and buyer, producing profound results. With over 45,000 subscribers, clients and members (growing at over 1,000 per month) from 38 different countries, including business owners, entrepreneurs and sales professionals, Ari has trained the best of the best and continues to be the most respected and followed sales thought-leader in the industry.

Ari has been featured in a multitude of leading sales and business books for his unique and special trust-based sales approach. Interviewed on networks such as CNN Money and Sky News, he has become the foremost authority on selling around the globe. As a sought-after international speaker, Ari presents at sold-out sales seminars and various corporate training events where he demonstrates his ground-breaking methods, making live sales calls in front of audiences.

He has shared the stage with fellow entrepreneurs, including Joan Rivers, Mark Victor Hansen, Dan Kennedy, Harry S. Dent, Christopher Howard, Bill Glazer, Alexandria Brown and many others. His strategies have been used by countless global organizations throughout the world. Ari’s mission is to help business owners, entrepreneurs and sales professionals, breakthrough their fears of selling as well as create a better life for themselves, their families and, of course, their clients. Unlock The Game is quickly becoming a the standard for how to create genuine trust for anyone who sells a product or service.

Unlock The Game Website

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Full Transcript Below

Trust-Based Selling, Put the Focus on Your Prospect Not Yourself with Ari Galper

Sun, 7/25 11:29AM • 46:12


people, sales, hear, trust, call, Ari, languaging, game, truth, conversation, sale, big, chasing, questions, phone, selling, opportunity, talking, listening, programmed


Ari, Roy Barker

Roy Barker  00:03

Hello, and welcome to another episode of The Business of Business Podcast. I’m your host Roy. Of course, we are the podcast that brings you a wide variety of guests to speak a lot about a lot of diverse topics to help you be more successful in your business. Sometimes, unfortunately, we don’t know what we don’t know. And these speakers give us some great ideas. And then sometimes we do know where we need some help. But we’re looking for just that rap professional to help us out and so today we are fortunate enough to have an awesome guest.

I’ve been waiting for a couple weeks to get him on the show. His name is Ari Galper. He is a target gonna talk about how to succeed in the new economy with trust based selling. He is the world’s number one authority on trust based selling. He’s the founder and CEO of Unlocked the Game. In his new book Unlocked, The Sales Game has become an instant bestseller among business owners and entrepreneurs across the globe.

Ari is a world’s number one authority on trust based selling and has been featured in CEO magazine, Forbes, Inc, magazine, Sky News, and the Australian Financial Review as trust becomes the most important currency. In the new economy. The act of selling as a dehumanizing process with endless chasing has been completely reinvented and anchored in the timeless values of integrity and trust, through trust based selling.

In his best selling book unlocked the sales game Ari describes his revolutionary sales approach based on getting to the truth and why having a mindset of focusing on deep trust instead of the sale is ironically, 10 times more profitable. Ari, thanks so much for taking time out of your day. Welcome to the show. First off

Ari  01:53

Appreciate it, thanks for having me.

Roy Barker  01:55

Hey, you bet. I mean, this is just like I said, I’ve been excited for the last few weeks to talk to you, because this is what I try to preach. All the time I get a chance to is this trust based selling and it’s just so much? Well, I guess I can sleep at night when I do that. So anyway, let’s just talk a little bit. If you could tell us a little bit about your background, I know that you were raised in the US and now live in Australia. So that’s awesome. But kind of tell us how you got here. How you decided to write this book, kind of how everything came together for you.

Ari  02:30

Yeah, soI’m from California. Originally, my wife online about 20 years ago on a dating site. This is prior to swiping is more of a DOS where they email you photo and a couple notes. So when she was working in Los Angeles, we kind of connected their data for a while then she said come visit my family. You know, in Sydney, I was like, wow, Australia’s kind of fall, but I’ll give it a try. So I came out here, got engaged to get married here back to LA. And then we started started my business there unlocked the game, and I’ll give you a gift. contura live six months later, our son Toby, who has Down syndrome, and he became an inspiration for us because he’s, you know, anybody has Down syndrome, but they’re beautiful, beautiful people.

They’re just warm and loving and, and transparent. So I wrote a book about him called lessons from Toby. And he became an inspiration behind my trust based selling approach. And then we moved out here and yeah, just where I lost the business, but prior to coming out here, and this is a story behind how I met this concept. Um, I was a sales manager, a software company, I was managing 18 people underneath me. And it was a fast growing high tech company. We developed the first online website tracking software to track website behavior, user behavior through websites now is called them Google Analytics.

We can collect statistics on your visitors, but so we are we launched this product in real time viewing. And the leads came across my desk three big opportunities as one came across to my desk to me, and I call them back, we had a good conversation. And it was a big company that multiple websites big opportunity. If I close one sale, it will double the revenue and one one opportunity. That’s how big it was. So if it goes well, like Christmas time, everyone gets that bonus, you know, so big. We do a conference call and a live demo.

On I forget four o’clock on a Friday afternoon, you know, where I’m in the conference with my CEO and doors closed behind me is big, long conversation in front of me on the table, the speakerphone, on the three legs wanted to cut a corporate, you know, look spaceship powered speaker phone. So I remember those days. And I had the dial tone, dial the number and my guy picks it up and we had a quick chat and he’s like, Alright, let me tell you, he’s on the phone with us today.

And I was like, Oh, great. I didn’t know supposed to be there. He says, The next thing I hear is My name is Mike. I’m CEO. I was like, Oh, this is good. My name is john. I’m head of it. This is perfect. You know, my name is Julia. I’m head of marketing. This is even better. I mean, everybody on this call was basically the decision maker. You know, I’m talking about this is like the call you holding as often as possible. Right? It’s gonna happen it’s gonna happen today.

So I introduced myself begin to give a live demo over the web, showing them all the information we collect for them. And it was the first time they saw this kind of stuff. And I start hearing this noise on the phone call like, Wow, this is great. This is amazing. I can’t believe I can see this is you’re asking me all kinds of questions. How does it work? How do we install it?

What’s technology and I I had all the answers I was copied attentively I or the sales books, CDs in my car back then with the seminars, I did all my little report and I received your why there’s so much chemistry on this phone call. It was like, a love fest on the phone. You don’t talk about

Roy Barker  05:32

do I do the rare opportunities?

Ari  05:36

Yeah, it just all happened at one time instead of myself, man. There’s no resistance here at all. This is like the dream sales goal. And so an hour goes by mastering questions and it’s all going well call kind of come to the end, my guys has to be alright. Thank you so much. We love what we’re seeing here. Give us call a couple of weeks, follow up with us. And we’ll move this thing forward.

I was like, Oh, thank you God, you know, my bosses like you know, nice job already now. And I could not be in a better editing and so I said my goodbyes take my arm and my hand and reach for the phone in the middle of the speakerphone hit the off button on there as original for the off button by complete accident. Now as the divine intervention, my thumb hit the mute button, instead of the off button. They were like right next to healers, I hit the wrong button by complete accident.

A small click happened. And they thought a hung up the phone. And in that split second, a voice inside of me said Ari go to the dark side be flying the wall go where no one’s ever gone before in the world of sales, right? So I just first second pull my thumb back, they started talking amongst themselves thinking I left the call. So what would you imagine that trick question that they would have probably said Africa like that? What would you expect them to say?

Roy Barker  06:54

Well, I think they probably would have somebody would have said probably yes, we’re interested or no we’re not and gotten into the whys and wherefores, maybe even had some you know if one was interested in one word, and maybe even started having some dialogue about what more they needed from you or from your product.

Ari  07:12

You think that right? Well, here’s what I said verbatim word for word on that forget, it’s fine. We’re all here today. What I said was this, they said, we’re not going to go with him. Keep using him for more information. And make sure we shop someplace else cheaper. knife in the heart. Twist. I was in a state of shock. Wow. I was like what and I finally hit the off button on the phone. I turn my chair look to the wall. And I said to myself, What did I do wrong? I was professional, I was competent. I studied sales, sales, my whole career from all the Guru’s they were happy, I give value I over delivered. And the first big epiphany hit me that was this summer along the way, it has become socially acceptable, not tell the truth to people who sell. Right.

Roy Barker  08:10

Right. Yeah, and as salespeople, you know, we take the bad end of that rap. And there are a lot of people that deserve it not saying that they don’t. But I think you know, I’m where you are that I want to tell the truth and build that trust. But you know, unfortunately, you know, there are customers out there, or prospects will say that, you know, basically do the same thing.

Ari  08:32

Yeah, well, I’ll tell you, what I realized was, it has become socially acceptable not to tell the truth, and to say things like sounds good. I’m definitely interested, send me information. Send me a proposal, without having any intention of buying at all. Yeah. And that’s when I realized that there is an invisible river of pressure that flows underneath every process, you have pre sale with somebody marketing on the phone. And if you don’t remove the pressure from that process is invisible.

You’ll always fight the battle, they won’t feel comfortable telling you the truth. And you can’t build trust with people. And that’s what I invented. My whole unlock the game concept with the whole idea is a different mindset where you’re focusing now on truth and trust building, not the sale anymore. When you focus only on that with someone they feel connected to you. It creates a sort of this bubble of vulnerability where they feel comfortable telling you where they stand.

Now you get the truth. Now you seem to fit it out with them. And that’s the whole shift we’ve made over 20 years now with a revolution of 1000s of people have adopted our philosophy doing really, really well because they’re not chasing ghosts anymore. And people who tell them what they want to hear and they end up in the numbers game. So that’s kind of the whole story behind the unlock the game process.

Roy Barker  09:49

Yeah, that’s a that is a huge story. I mean, in one respect, you’re lucky you got to hear that because you know, again, as salespeople a lot of time you’re on 100% Commission will say you may have a small salary, but you know, it’s dependent upon sale. So every hour that you are tied up talking to somebody that has no interest in you, that’s just, you know, waste of your productive time.

Ari  10:14

Yeah, look, I had to go through the pain myself and suffer, and get to humanize and rejected and feel like this, an article about you and this thing to realize, there’s an answer to this. You know, growing up at home, I experienced that as well, at the dinner table, I was depressed, a lot of could tell my truth, I was rejected, I had to keep everything inside myself many times. And I couldn’t say my truth.

My whole mission has been not always to heal myself, but help other people out there. And sales and business who are literally playing a game, they know is not true, they’re holding back the truth. They’re being rejected by people. To me, it’s a dysfunctional relationship in the sales process. And my mission is to, is to basically heal all those people out there who have suffered through the old way of selling for so many years, and want to get to a place of authenticity and be successful.

Roy Barker  11:03

Yeah, and that’s awesome. Because that’s where I believe, well, like I said, I believe in that because I can go lay my head down at night and sleep well. And if you have a good product and good service at a fair price, and you do what you say you’re going to do, you can sell that. So you know, it’s there’s no to me, there’s no reason to play those games. It’s just let’s put it all out there. But so where do you start? Or if if I’m new in sales, and I’m coming to you and I say, look, Ari, I want to use this process. Tell me how we start? How does that process start?

Ari  11:36

Well, the first part of this model is to shift your mindset away from the sale, and to focus only on the truth if you help them or not. And that’s just the cleaning out the the mental harddrive of what I call the old sales myths that are still wedged in the back of your subconscious, that are not freeing you to be a different place of people. Now, one of those myths is you probably heard of this one. It’s sales is a numbers game for that before.

Roy Barker  12:03

Yes. Yeah, I can hear it in my sleep most of the night. Most

Ari  12:08

nights. Sure. Yeah. We all those ghosts in the back of our heads still, after all those years of gurus telling us this, but it’s all about, the more contacts you make, the more sales are supposed to make. Don’t give up, get back in there, get in the game, keep calling, you know, we discovered. That’s all but yes. It’s not how many contacts you make anymore. It’s about how deep you go on each conversation with someone how good you are trust building, not how good you are burning through conversations.

That’s number one. Number two is a big one, that the continent the idea of the sale is lost at the end of the process. I’m sure you’ve been there before where you had a good opportunity. All green light, all boxes checked, look great. Waiting for the contract to come through and then boom, it just definitely come through disappears on you. You know, I’m talking about?

Roy Barker  12:54

Yes, yes, unfortunately. Yeah. Yeah. You think that, like you were saying in your story, you’ve done everything right. The people love you. They want to talk to you. And you spent this in ordinary mountain time with them, getting them comfortable. And it’s like, What could possibly go wrong? Except for they didn’t sign the contract?

Ari  13:15

Yep. Yep. You know, we discovered, we discovered in our research, that the sales not lost any more at the end of the process is lost at the beginning. is lost. Hello. And I’ll prove to you right now, in a fun way. If someone calls your office tomorrow morning, you hear Hi, my name is I’m with? We are a what goes through your mind about three seconds. I’m not interested. It’s low, isn’t it? That’s it is. And I’ll make the case today in this conversation that many of your listeners who are chasing ghosts are losing their opportunities, not at the end of their process. or losing weight at the beginning.

Roy Barker  13:57

Yeah, cuz I, you know, it’s a good story that you told because I think there’s probably a lot of that going out there is that they’re using you for information or leverage? Because like it take whatever information you’ve given them and leverage it against their current supplier, whatever that may look like as well.

Ari  14:14

Yep, yep. And the third one is the idea that rejection is part of the sales game. You got to take a note, you got to take a hit. If you’re not tough enough, you know, the sales manager was said to you, Hey, get back out there. Don’t give up beat up as part of the game. That’s the guys who’ve gotten beat up the most and figured that’s the way life is. Well, you know, we figured out, we figured out that rejection actually is triggered by certain things. You say undo subconsciously, that caused the other person to push back on you and not tell you the truth, seducing you into thinking they’re gonna buy?

Roy Barker  14:51

What do you have some examples of what those may be?

Ari  14:54

Absolutely. We’re gonna go through that now. And I’m gonna walk you through some of our core principles too. And also Give me give all your listeners some real value here, I’m going to share with them some of my key what I call trust based languaging phrases that they can use to activate the real time in real scenarios, and throw the scripts out altogether, and use the trust based languaging authentically.

So the first principle is idea of what I call diffusing pressure. Your job is to always defuse pressure in the sales process. Let me give an example of this. Let’s say you’re having a first call with somebody over the phone. A first conversation is their fully qualified good opportunity. They’re probably a buyer, the call kind of comes to an end. Normally at the end of a call like that, we’re trying to sales to do what typically supposed to say things like what

Roy Barker  15:42

are you ready by yet? How can I get you a contract out there?

Ari  15:45

Yeah, we’re how do we how do we move things? forward? And next step, a cup of coffee and a demo, we always try. And we’re programmed to move people straight line to the Yes, at the end. That’s where our brains going. Right. But what happens if you try to if you try and move somebody forward? And they aren’t ready yet? At the beginning? what’s broken? Right there with them?

Yeah, the trust? Exactly. So same scenario, our mindset, our approach, calls going well, good opportunity could be qualified, all of them good call comes to an end, rather than saying, Hey, how about we move forward to the end goal, what we say instead is this, we say? Where do you think we should go from here? And I’ll say it again? Where do you think we should go from here? Now, how does that change the dynamic of the conversation? Yeah,

Roy Barker  16:47

we put it on, what do they need? Not what do we need, we need a signed contract. But that’s not what they may need at this point.

Ari  16:56

So we’re shifting the power to them. And usually, when you say to somebody, where do you think we should go from here? They’re usually in a state of shock. They can’t believe somebody in a sales or business role would ask, ask them, what they want to do is unheard of, because you’re so used to people taking down a linear process that they know the game and their guard goes up.

And now they don’t tell you the truth. But when you say to somebody, right, where do you think we should go from here? What usually happens is they say things like, well, I’ve got one more question. Or, or what about this, all of a sudden, the truth comes out at the beginning, and not again, saving you months and months, months of chasing ghosts, and pretending a full pipeline and hoping to close somebody at the end of the process.



Ari  17:50

one of the triggers of rejection is languaging, the words that you use the phrases that you use that sad that are in the sales, old school sales speak, everyone hates so much. So the other element of the rejection that eliminate is the delivery. Now, what do you notice? Notice when I said, Where do you think we should go from here? How’s that different?

Roy Barker  18:11

Slow the conversation down? strategic pauses in the phrasing to let you know, that’s something else, you know, we shouldn’t be afraid of silence. And it’s good to put those pauses in that key places. But

Ari  18:23

when you slow things down, people engage with you. When you speed things up, create momentum and move quickly. The momentum creates pressure and the wall goes up. And now you’re getting further or further away from the truth. So your goal is to focus on the truth, not the sale. That’s what double your sales, because that’s what that’s what helps you figure out who’s a fit and not a fit, you’re not chasing people who are interested.

And so the languaging the mindset and the tonality is part of the ingredients makes us so authentic and so real. Not a technique, but the truth to help people out. That’s really the core principle number one. Number two principle is the idea of what I call getting to the truth of people. And what that means is having them feel comfortable telling you upfront where they stand, you’re not playing the game everybody hates you know. And so today sorry about this recently, someone called my office and they got through my whole team members got to me, let’s schedule a call.

I pick up the phone and I hear Mr. gulper. Yes. And he says My name is john Johnson changed the name and I’m with XYZ company. And we’re just now looking to bring somebody on board to train our sales team we’re looking at you and couple of people we’d like to first of all, why should we go with you? Why the best and give me your best sales pitch. He says to me he he’s now putting what on me?

Roy Barker  19:54

pressure right. What? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Ari  19:58

He’s now pressure me. started doing the you know, the dance, the sales dance where it was a pitch myself. Right? Exactly. I went back to my mindset took a deep breath or a big company, you recognize them the billion dollar company took a deep breath, guy centered, Lord my voice. And here’s what I said back to him. What I said to him was, Well, isn’t that interesting?

Roy Barker  20:26

What What was his response to that?

Ari  20:28

wasn’t done yet. That was a long, long pause there. So you jump in like, Oh, shit. Now what do you decide? Right, right. And then I said to him, Well, isn’t that interesting? I said, over here, our company, we have a very similar process to you where we gather information, ask them questions, see if we’re a good fit. And if we’re a good fit, then we just have to wait to go from there. And I said to him, would you be open to that? All I said to him, next thing I hear in the phone, nothing dead silence, his breath across the phone, like he breathed, you know, let breath out.

I can tell you all your shoulders, it became human again. You let go of his arm around him. But he takes to work. He became like a decent human being. And he says to me, he lowers his voice and he says to me, okay, what kind of questions do you have for me? Next thing I know, within five minutes, we’re having a normal conversation human, the human no more games anymore. In the conversation, I discover one. He has no budget to he’s not a decision maker. And three, he’s just curious as to what I do.

Roy Barker  21:38


Ari  21:39

interesting. And off, he went to my website for more information. I hung up the phone. Now what did my process just hit me myself?

Roy Barker  21:50

Yeah, run around chasing somebody that number one, even if he’s not the decision maker, and he’s got no budget, then there’s not much, not much at the end of that rainbow.

Ari  22:00

That’s right. I would have chased. Follow it up. done everything possible. Because there’s this drug gets in our bodies, and it’s triggered with inbound calls like that, you know, the drug is called. Drink called. It’s called hopium. You know, the hopium drug. When you get that inbound call, you’re like, Whoa, Baby, you’re so excited. You got your patient over you, like, Man, you tell your team, guess what, I got a call from there. You tell your husband and wife Guess what? We’re gonna go feature this here. This is the year I got the call. You’re so excited. Right? Hey, follow up. And you get their voicemail. You’re like, what he’s not there. Then you go to your computer. And you’re right. Hi, I’m just writing you to what to


follow up.

Ari  22:47

And I’m going to ask you and all your listeners right now to take a verbal oath of me to never again after post RV after hearing this podcast and never again, use a phrase I’m about to give you in your life ever again in business. And for those people on the call who have been in sales for a long time. This might hurt just a bit. Is it all right?

Roy Barker  23:09

Yeah, no, go ahead. I’m raising my hand. I’m taking the oath.

Ari  23:14

I love it. Good text. So I’m gonna ask everyone to never again, use the phrase follow up ever again in their lives after today.

Roy Barker  23:29

So agree, and I think you know, we had this conversation, you know, a couple weeks ago is that, to me, it drives me insane No matter if I’m interested if it’s a good product, good price, good service. But I’m not there yet. And I get the email or the phone call. It’s like the same script. Hey, this is Joe, we talked last week I’m circling back to, you know, circling back or following up. Want to see if you’re ready to buy yet.

Ari  23:58

There’s a few of those classic ones there’s touching base? Yes. There’s one more class one follow up touch base. You know, got questions and checking in that’s these are all classic sales 101 9280s techniques that we’re used to doing. And that’s the problem we’re so conditioned to a yes or no that we’re on a track towards a way that people know a mile away, man, this guy is after major sales got person no matter how professional you are.

And so I’ll give you guys all right now everyone listening, the replacement for that because I’ve got a whole body of work around trust based languaging tied to every single scenario you ever imagined the pre sale. So what you do is replace that phrase with this. I’m just giving you a call to see if you have any feedback on our previous conversation. Any feedback on our last meeting, any feedback on our proposal, see feedbacks going backwards away from the sale, not follow up which is going forwards towards For Sale, when you go the reverse direction, what happens?

You remove the pressure, you take the momentum out of it, and all of a sudden they feel comfortable opening up to you and telling where they stand. It’s funny when you say to somebody, you can try this for anyone listening, I’m giving you a call, or even a feedback on our previous conversation. They just start talking, it just started downloading didn’t go, Oh, my God, this guy was right.

Years and years of sales. Now a sudden I’m getting people talking to me, whoa, because we’re so brainwashed. We’re so conditioned, so programmed to behave and speak a certain way that people know a mile away the minute they hear any tonality of voice or anything. It sounds like that stereotype. It is over at Hello, yes.

Roy Barker  25:45

Yeah, and I think that, you know, it’s kind of the common thread, it seems that’s running through this so far is that we have actually turned this around. And we’re interested in you, Mr. Customer, you know, what, what questions do you have, you know, what can we do to move this forward, not the, I’m the sales guy, I need to contract at the end of the month, and I need to really get this deal today. So I’ll get, you know, get my bigger bonus this month.

Ari  26:11

But you can still be ambitious, you can still have your goals, but you can’t transfer that from you to them. That’s what happens. We have no filter system. And we overstep our bounds even subtly, UB you mean Eb maze it my clients who bring me their, their fun recordings of their calls, and they’re nice people, but they they jump into early in the conversation, start talking about those solutions.

They don’t diagnose deep enough, they don’t have the right languaging they go to a follow up stage after for call one, they go to call to another follow up stage. They they’re just literally chasing ghosts. And they’re wondering why their conversion rates so low, and all the time does get more leads. I’m like, stop getting more leads focus on the big hole in your bucket, which is conversion and stop playing the game. And they go. They’re like, they’re they’re literally their head spin go, Oh, my God, my whole career. I’ve always thought selling was about chasing opportunities. And it turns out, that’s the mistake everyone’s making.

Roy Barker  27:10

Yeah, yeah, we need to take care of those leads that we have. Because there’s I think there’s ways that we can bring people around and not push them away a lot of times. You know, I will say that we push away in talking about the phone conversation. You know, I hear these that. It’s like, there’s a script. And it’s like, Hello, Hello, Mr. Smith, you know, and it’s like a robot reading it. And I had a call that a young lady said, Hey, great. I want to come in and take a look at this. Okay, well, wait just a minute, let me tell you.

And she said, Craig, you know, that sounds good. When can we make it? Okay, well hang on just a minute, let me finish. My oh, my gosh, this, this person blew through three stop signs, all they had to do was just be quiet. All he had to do is be quiet and say, we’d love to see when can you be here? That’s right. It’s like somebody gave him a script and said, You got to get all 300 words in before he for the

Ari  28:02

whole industry has been brainwashed and programmed and wired to do a certain behavior that creates what I call a dysfunctional relationship from Hello. And this goes down to the across all communication, what I call trust based communication, to learn because I believe in this economy now, that trust is a new currency. And if you are constantly putting trust in your sales process for your whole company, your whole business, I’m not saying you know, being trustworthy. I’m saying constantly putting trust into your process as a conscious effort, and realization if you’re not doing that, just showing up and doing your thing. Man, you are playing a numbers game and you’re going to be in some serious pain, sir.

Roy Barker  28:46

Yeah. That’s for sure.

Ari  28:52

So there’s one more principle if you if we got some more time?

Roy Barker  28:55

Yeah, yeah, no, that’s what I was gonna ask you. What is the what’s your next principle there?

Ari  28:58

Yeah, the last principle is idea what I call being a problem solver, where you, you’re placing a pitch person, you probably heard a 32nd commercial or the elevator pitch, you know, those things that were taught to do?

Roy Barker  29:09

Exactly, yeah.

Ari  29:10

Someone says, what do you do? And I’m like, Oh, I’m a business coach. Right. So software, I see, our identity is tied to our solutions. When someone says what do we do? We say, Oh, I’m a financial advisor, we just connect to that prototype. image. So what we help people understand to help companies do is translate their their pitch into what I call a problem conversation where when you meet somebody, you don’t focus on your solution at all. You focus only on their world what their problems are.

So so you meet somebody, you don’t say I’m a x, you say I help business owners solve, solve three problems. A B and see. You talk about you focus in on their problems, you don’t talk about your solution, it’s too premature to offer a solution and to diagnose their problem and that’s what creates connection. I got a story for you real quick, too, that might. But it’s more alive for you a few years back, I was brought back to us to a big sales team, high tech company, a big room, 500 people in the room.

And right about lunchtime, I was doing my thing. And there four or five guys in the corner of the room with their arms crossed just like this. Looking at me, and I get it all the time, big companies, lots of few guys in the corner like this. And they’re, you know, you can feel that arrogance. And they’re looking at me going, who does this guy? think he is? He I’ve been in this business for 20 years, no one knows more than I do. I’ve been in the game. I’m successful. I get it all the time. And so I’m prepared for this. And so, right around lunchtime, I said before we go to lunch, everyone, we’re gonna do one more thing.

We’re gonna make live sales calls in the room right now. your toughest prospects you can’t reach. And I reach over the table and I pull up a speakerphone pre wired in the whole room and I slammed it on the table. We’re gonna make live calls on this room right now, on this, on this phone to prove to you there’s a feature we’re selling this guy. And the whole room is like frozen like this, like I wanted I guess what? I said, I don’t worry, you’re not gonna make live calls in the room.

And for everybody right now, guess who’s gonna do it? Me. I’m gonna call your toughest prospect you can’t reach in front of you right now. To prove to you, this is a breakthrough that you’re missing. Well, guy goes, You can’t do that. You don’t even work here, you don’t know our technologies. You don’t know our product lines, you don’t know our server levels of this all this complex gobbly goo. I said it’s not about your solutions, my friends. It’s about the problems you help people solve.

You stay in that zone, man, your unlimited opportunity. So one guy gets up. He walks down the aisle kind of heavyset guy with a folder his hand and I say come on down. Come on down. He comes for so what do you have for me? He says I’m what’s called a wind background. I my job is when back the old class we lost like a 10 year each one’s worth seven figures like close one a year. I’m here on the company, because that’s how big it is. But here’s one for you. We lost one last year a big opportunity, a client of ours, that we shipped a brand new laptop for the sales team offshore for a big meeting.

And it was a surprise gift to everybody. And the boxes arrived, unfortunately, destroyed, the screens were broken and the laptop was crushed. It was terrible. There was just such a bad moment for this to happen. They call this back and they cut the whole contract off. He lost the entire account off that one experience. It was terrible for everybody. And my job is to win them back. The problem is, I can’t get past the gatekeeper. I’ve tried everything. I’ve tried to go through her and center date her trigger every trick in the book.

I can’t get the decision maker to the gatekeeper to get to decision makers to get this thing going yet. So here we go. Ari, you give her a call. I said no problem. So I got her name and number. I walked over the phone. I said please, everyone, please keep it down. There’s a live call right now. Their whole room still What?

Roy Barker  33:17

Yeah, they’re stiff.

Ari  33:18

They’re just freaking out. Because their biggest fear that would happen to me but they’re used to is what? rejection? Correct? Yes. And when their world rejection is normal? Yeah, in my world, we never trigger it. Yeah. So I have no fear. I teach my class the same thing. So I dial the number, phone rang in the whole room, they’re real quiet. And guess who picks it up? The gatekeeper. Her name is Julie says hello is Julie. And I proceeded to say this. What I said was this. I said, Hi, Julie. My name is Ari, with XYZ company. And I’m hoping you can help me out for a moment. That roleplay for a second. How would you respond to that? If someone said that to you in that in that manner? How would you react to that?

Roy Barker  34:18

Of course how can I help you?

Ari  34:20

Exactly that’s called a two-way dialogue a Hello. For people who struggle at Hello What’s your most people that creates an open communication. So then I said this I say well, I’m just giving you a call on the one reason one reason only. And that is to apologize. What happened last year? We should be laptops that can destroy you call us back we cut the con you cut the country that we were upset with us. It was terrible Express for everybody.

It was probably painful for you as well and for everyone evolve and I just wanted to simply call to apologize on behalf of myself and my company for that horrible experience that we put you in front of That’s all I said. Next thing on the phone, you know what, here’s your next here, let me tell you, I was there, I opened the boxes, I couldn’t believe it. I was so upset too, I was embarrassed. I, it was horrible. He starts talking and talking and talk, it was like a whole damn opened up.

And the whole truth just came out. And she even says, oh, and I’m involved with decision-making process to bring you guys back on again. Surprise, the whole time the guys want to go through her turns out, he’s it for the whole thing. So the whole room is in a state of shock. And she comes full circle. And I said, Look, I just went against him. He apologized for that it sounds terrible. And I just wanted him to be open to us figure out a way to heal old wounds, and begin again with a fresh start and see if we can build trust again from the beginning to prevent this happening again. Would you be open to that?


That’s all I said to her

Ari  36:07

as a pause. And next thing she says is that sounds good. Let’s schedule a conference call and move this thing forward. Next thing I know she’s rattling off phone numbers and zoom links, conference calls and VPS. And I’m writing down get is no Give me your Pat. I’m writing down phone numbers, contact schedule dates. I said to her look, there’ll be myself or my colleague, one of us be in the call is that all right? That’s fine as matters there, cuz I’m going back to, you know, home. And actually, she’s scheduling the phone call, like pulling


everyone in all the

Ari  36:40

decision makers, the VPS on this call, and we got it all scheduled. Look, and I say thank you so much. We’re about to end the call. She says one more thing to me at the end of the call. You know, she says What was that? Thank you for being the only person in your company who actually listened to me Ravin triangle through me know

Roy Barker  37:11

what an amazing story.

Ari  37:13

That’s all. We hung up the phone, and the whole room. It was like, they saw Jesus Christ for the first time. They’re like, what that they I was like doing the wave in the room like this, you know, on their shoulders, like a football, I was being carried around the room like, like, like a hero after war or something that they were they their whole life. They took bullets, man, they expected rejection, it was tough. And all of a sudden, I showed them on one example, how to cut through all that noise.

They’ve been carrying their whole lives because they were taught to sell. And I said stop selling. start learning how to create trust with people. Alright. And I’ll throw this out to your listeners. And I’ll kind of ask you guys a blackdog question here a little higher level and only like a like a bat like dog question. That’s you’re really with me for a while. But what do you suppose my goal was in my mind? Before I pick up the phone to call her? What do you think my goal was in my in my thinking before I dial the number with her? And he guesses?

Roy Barker  38:15

Yeah, you just wanted to either get through to the decision maker or get their phone number get a contact where you could reach out directly to them.

Ari  38:22

Yeah, so that’s that’s what you’re probably expected to be. But let me tell with my with my mental goal was and this is a bit higher level. But my goal was that I had no goal. I had no objective. I had no next steps. Because if I did, that I wouldn’t be 100% present with her to connect to her to her world so she can feel that I care for her. And by being present, by connecting to her by her feeling actually cared about what happened. But our next step is what pure trust building is all about.

It’s a rare skill that most business people and sales people can’t get because they’re so programmed and conditioned to go start selling in this way that everyone knows a mile away is a foreign language. Like it’s the the game is over guys 1980s and 90s 2021. Everyone knows the whole pitches, it’s over the goal. If you want to suffer play that game. I wish you the best. And I’ll tell you I get a lot of refugees I call who come from other sales gurus who say man are you been are you for last 10 years of my career. I’ve stopped that suffering.

This is normal. I that’s part of the game. And I’ve got my little clinic that I call it where I help people detox and get them out of that process and back into themselves again and they use this by the way people take this concept. They use it they their personal life too. I’ve saved marriages. I’m not kidding. Some guy calls live recently say, hey, Ari, you said my marriage is I’m like, What? My wife and I are about to get divorced. I heard your podcast, I got your programs, I study everything you’re doing.

And I realized the problem was me. I was putting my agenda before hers. I wasn’t listening, I wasn’t connecting, I was in the next step. And I finally broke through that. We are back together again. And I learned how to build trust in my life, thank you, you saved my life. That’s my mission is to help people detox from that poor communication, they grow up they brought up with from everyone they’ve been taught, and to reset, upgrade, and come up to the modern day.

Because right now, trust is a new currency if your business is still playing that old game, and I was able to quantify all the losses you’re doing right now I can see your your your conversion numbers and look at the numbers, how low they are, and identify how much you’re losing, trust me, there’ll be so much value in that pot of pie right there that will lead further. You have to go to stick your stomach to quantify the loss of going on and to fix this once and for all. So that’s really what I’m all about. And I appreciate you giving me a place to get my sermon. You bet. No,

Roy Barker  41:21

that’s great. I love hearing it. And it’s a it’s a great mindset out, you know, talking about making people feel better not just made me think about when I was a young salesman, I had a sales manager and when the guys would fall out of the bullpen at the end of the day. If you were smiling and happy, you’d be like, Well, obviously you didn’t make enough calls today. I mean, like you didn’t get beat up enough you need to make some more calls the feel bad to walk out of here. It’s just such a such a different philosophy that it’s really uplifting, though.

I like that. And it’s better for the consumer, our prospect as well. Look dehumanizing people is just wrong. And I mission to make it right. Alright, we certainly do appreciate you being with us. So tell me a couple things. First, before we go, what is something that you use in your day to add value could be a habit could be a tool. It could be professional and personal. But just what’s something that you feel adds a lot of value to your day?

Ari  42:28

I’ve tuned my ear to stop hearing hearings passive and do listening instead. Listening is active. People think I’m a good listener. Oh, yeah, I listen to people. But I discovered No, you don’t listen. You’re hearing? What’s your brand’s already on the next step?

Roy Barker  42:48

Yes. When you own when you close

Ari  42:50

that gap, which we do in our training and teachings, people feel you’re present with them. Money just rolls your direction. I mean, it’s like a damn.

Roy Barker  43:03

Yeah. And I had somebody Luckily, years ago that taught me that. It was that teaching you the active listening, because when you’re hearing, I’m not hearing really actually, I’m thinking about, I wish he would quit talking for a minute because I’ve got something to counter that. Or I’ve got something to say, you know what he just said, and I just missed the whole last part of you know what you were saying?

That’s probably key information that I really needed. Yeah. Yep. It can be transformative. So y’all give it a try? Are you again, I appreciate you taking time out of your day to be with us. So if you would mind tell us, you know, what kind of companies what kind of people do you work with? What can you do for them? And then of course, how can they reach out and get a hold of you?

Ari  43:50

Well, look, I work a lot with entrepreneurs, business owners, sales teams, who have not are not happy with their conversion rate. They aren’t happy with the leads that are coming through that they’re able to convert to an art to a new sale. I have a new book I’m working on was speaking to we did another podcast on soon coming out called the One Call Sale.

How to onboard somebody one conversation how to compress your sales cycle from 10 steps to one step that’s revolutionary how to go from a 5% conversion rate to 35% conversion rate, how to grow your business without any more marketing dollars being spent. This is the pot of gold. most business owners don’t understand how to how to dig up. So I do a lot of consulting around that. We do have a program called the One Call Sale. And we do have a free overview as well.

If you want to just have your listeners Just go to www.unlock the just get in there and put your details through. If this resonates with you, we do a beelines was as fast as possible. Reach out, access our courses login, reached out to me whatever You need, we’re here to help because we view ourselves as, you know, people helping refugees who are stuck on an island, they can’t get off of their thinking. And once you hop over to our island, man, it’s paradise. I’ll tell you it’s a great life.

Roy Barker  45:16

Alright, that sounds awesome. Now, can they find your podcast that that website as well? Everything’s here unlock the Yeah. Y’all go green care. I know he can help you. It’s been awesome. It’s been such a great time speaking with you today. We appreciate you taking time again to come see us. And hopefully we’ll speak again very soon. Thank you so much. Appreciate it. Hey, you bet. that’s gonna do it for another episode of the business of business podcast. You can find us of course at www. the business of business

We’re on all the major social media networks. When this episode goes live, of course, there will be a video version put up on YouTube as well. You can find us on all the major platforms, iTunes, Stitcher, Google Spotify, for not a one that you listen to regularly please reach out. I’ll be glad to get you get us added to that one. Until next time, I want you all to take care of yourself and take care of your business.

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