Self-Awareness and Self-Efficacy Are Important To Being Charming and Disarming Featuring Salman Raza
Self-Awareness and Self-Efficacy Are Important. Being self-aware is key to a lot of things in life. We also need to be very aware of others we are wanting to communicate with and build relationships with. We have to take into account the individuals, cultural differences, surroundings, social, emotional, and behavioral theories to be successful in relationship building.
Table of contents
- Self-Awareness and Self-Efficacy Are Important To Being Charming and Disarming Featuring Salman Raza
- Full Transcript Below
- SUMMARY KEYWORDS
- More About Salman
- Self-Awareness, Self-Efficacy are important
- Global Society
- Charming and Disarming
- Culture Differences
- Societyal Differences
- Value Comes In Many Ways
- Pay Attention To Others
- Ego Differences
- Importance of Communication
- Gender Differences
- Wrap Up
Salman is a Biomedical Engineer by qualification, an Auditor by profession, and a reformist and visionary at heart. He has lived on four continents and worked in thirty countries. The diversity and experiences afforded him an insight into working with different cultures, values, and personality types.
He leads trainings and workshops on the enclosed subjects; meeting and teaching a thousand new people every year. With decades of experience, Salman’s work provided him with a better understanding of our various emotions and behaviors. Now these practices are found in one place
Full Transcript Below
Self-Awareness and Self-Efficacy Are Important To Being Charming and Disarming Featuring Salman Raza
Sat, 7/31 2:36PM • 54:59
Estimated reading time: 39 minutes
societies, ego, business, countries, people, culture, absolutely, personality, vision, world, china, individual, important, book, higher, smiling, lead, index, understand, Houston, Self-Awareness, Self-Efficacy are important, Charming and Disarming
Salman, Roy Barker
Roy Barker 00:03 Self-Awareness and Self-Efficacy Are Important
Hello, and welcome to another episode of The Business of Business Podcast. I’m your host Roy. Of course we are the podcast that brings you a wide variety of guests speaking to a diverse set of topics. Hopefully we can shine a light on something maybe you haven’t thought about to help you be successful or if you have something that’s keeping you up at night.
We’d be glad to hope you can use the information that we’re presenting and rely on our professionals that we have to help resolve that we want to see everybody be successful. Today we are pleased to have with us Salmon Raza, he is on Well, he’s the owner of Razalution which awesome name by the way, but he’s also the author of “Life’s Non-Conformities: An Auditor’s Tale of Practical Application of Social, Emotional and Behavioral Strategies.” He is Salman is a biomedical engineer by qualification, an auditor by profession, and a reformist and visionary at heart. He has lived on four continents and worked in 30 countries.
The diversity and experiences afforded him an insight into working with different cultures, values, and personality types. He leads trainings and workshops, meeting and teaching 1000 new people every year with decades of experience. Salman’s work has provided him with better understanding of various emotions and behaviors. Now these practical prac now these practices are found in one place in his new book again Life’s Non-Conformities. Salman, welcome to the show. And thank you for taking time out of your day to be with us. Self-Awareness and Self-Efficacy Are Important.
Thank you, thank you for having me.
Roy Barker 01:48 Self-Awareness and Self-Efficacy Are Important
So you’ve had a long and long and winding road, like for you can’t tell us you know, how you got here from a biomedical engineer to to an auditor? That’s quite a leap.
More About Salman
It isn’t it is not. Because I I’m in medical device regulations. So biomedical engineering led me to medical device regulations. And then I became auditor, a medical device regulatory auditor. that enabled me to travel the world and interact with different people, different sized companies from billion-dollar company to a one-man-band. So, and all sorts of emotions along the way.
Roy Barker 02:34 Self-Awareness and Self-Efficacy Are Important
Yeah, four continents and 30 companies. I mean, that’s four, and I’m sorry, four continents in 30. Countries that so that’s quite expansive. Self-Awareness and Self-Efficacy Are Important. And I’m sure that you know, making that journey, the different cultures, just like you said, the personalities, the practices, I know that you have to be very careful, because we have a reference of our country and our practices, but when you step in somebody else’s country, they may have a whole different protocol.
Oh, yeah, absolutely. And, and a lot of focus in the business world, remains on the technical side of things, and the functional side of things, and a lot of soft skills and soft aspects of human interaction. After all, we are all human. And that, unfortunately, get overlooked. A lot of times, we don’t achieve our business goals because of overlooked soft skills. And that’s what we are trying to bring to the forefront that we should focus a little more than what we have.
Roy Barker 03:42 Self-Awareness and Self-Efficacy Are Important
Right, right. Yeah. And, you know, it’s my reference point is, I’m not even gonna tell you how many years back but we actually had to do a, we had to do some research and a presentation on doing business in different countries. And it was a, it was one of the best exercises that a professor could have ever assigned to us. Because, you know, I think it’s gotten worse today, we’re a lot more casual than we were. But even back then, just all the different rituals and things like that. So different, you know, we have to be careful who we talk to do you look them in the eye, do we look down? All these different things?
Self-Awareness, Self-Efficacy are important
Yeah, absolutely. The interesting thing on this journey as I learned, we as a human you can you can see in a triangle or pyramid, the base of it is very The most common the base of a triangle is human nature. So the nature across the globe is exactly the same. We all get hungry, we all need some water, we all need some low end care. So that is the human nature. We all have the same globally. difference.
But then when we move up towards the apex of the pyramid, in between, there’s a layer, which is culture where we bring we are growing up, that is learned. So all these things happening around us, we are consciously and subconsciously, we are learning that trait. That is, because we don’t even realize because we are growing in that environment, but it still, it’s not the human nature, it’s taught and learned. And then you go further up in the triangle that’s unique to individual, that’s personality, that’s my personality I’m born with.
And of course, my personal experiences, my my family and my culture, combined with my personality combined with my exposure in life, that creates me individual. So there is a few layers that we need to understand. And that that makes us complicated. human being.
Roy Barker 06:06 Self-Awareness and Self-Efficacy Are Important
Right, exactly, yeah. And brought to mind that sometimes, when we’re discussing things, especially with people may be of a different culture, even if we’re on friendly terms, I might say to you, oh, that’s just your perception. But I think what we have to realize is that your perception is your reality, if this is what you’ve lived with, it could be totally different, you know, from my life experiences, even inside of the US, even inside of different cities.
And, you know, I was just thinking, you know, you’re located in Houston, and I’m up in the Fort Worth area. So you know, two of our reference points, if you come up here, you’re gonna eat some barbecue, and some beef for sure, you know, being down in Houston, you may run into, you know, the more the the crab boil, and things like that. So, even within a state, there can be, you know, a lot of nuances across that.
Absolutely. And then, and if we are not engaging or interacting with people from different, different cultures and different environment, that gap of awareness increases a great deal. So let me give you some examples. And it perhaps might open up the conversation a little, though, so I follow the Hofstede insight model for the cultural awareness. So that model describes society in six different dimensions. There’s one, the first one is power index, so how societies respond to power.
So if I’m your boss, or I’m at higher hierarchy, how the society see that store, the higher index societies, boss or upper up in the higher management is to God, you don’t talk to them, you respect them, you bow to them, you basically they are like your God, but in low power index societies, yeah, you may have the right you may have the title, but you’re not better than me, you are just like me, so. So countries like China and Russia, they’re really higher on the power index. However, if you are in Scandinavia, I don’t care if you are the CEO, you will stand with me in the same line for food as as I would, and they will talk to you such a such way.
I don’t have any special privilege. So it just society and the expectation, how they respond to power is different. And if you’re ailing from certain culture, where power is important, then you For example, if you are in a chain classroom in China, or in a meeting room in China, questioning or interrupting the presenter is its inaugural you cannot challenge your presenter, he’s your higher up he’s your teacher whereas if you are in UK or in us or any low index society, they will say no, this is why I’m here ask me question and they will encourage you.
Similarly, if you are different, the next dimension is individualism and collectivism. So some societies they believe that individuals are responsible for their own welfare The United States is one of them the one of the highest index on individualism, you are responsible for your own welfare and, and you are not expected to interfere in anyone’s affair. However, if you’re living in a collective society, a lot of Latin America, a lot of Asia, their collective societies, so you are no Carrying yourself only you are carrying your community, your family.
So these expectations within the social norms are very different. So in Japan, people don’t leave jobs in us is, if it serves me, my family, my objectives, I will move on. But in Japan, if you lose, leave the job, you bring insult and dishonor to the company and community. So, there are several layers of culture that we don’t realize that when we interact, right, exactly,
Roy Barker 10:33 Self-Awareness and Self-Efficacy Are Important
yeah, and that’s interesting. You know, because we don’t want to get too political. But you know, we’re dealing with that here, in the US, as I assume, probably across the world with this pandemic is, you know, where do the individual responsibilities versus the collectivism, you know, it’s a very blurred line. So even though we can make the two distinctions, it’s still not that easy, you know, going forward, and especially, you know, we run into all these different things, as we try to do business across the lines. And as we become a global society, you know, it’s not the same as talking to your next door neighbor, you know, trying to sell them an item versus, you know, taking all these different things into account as we do business across the world.
Absolutely. In business, well, for example, yeah, you do a lot of things out of courtesy, you do a lot of things out of norm, not because you agree with them, but that is the normal that country right. So let me give you an example of contract law. When we write a contract law in Western Hemisphere, we we go to the every single possibility is written on it.
And after 1000 page of details, you say force majeure, oh, then you come to force majeure, that we don’t know what else we can ride on. If you’re writing a contract law in, in Asia, in Japan, in particular, China, force majeure will probably won’t be fifth or sixth line. Because that culture deals with trust. And if you don’t have trust, then what’s the point of dealing with it? So if you want me to write that sort of possibilities, and in eventualities, that means there’s lack of trust in between parties?
And then if you don’t trust me, then what’s the point dealing and doing business with me? So there is a different perspective, the intent on United States or UK point of view is not that they don’t trust you, it just, they liked everything to be written on paper. Whereas in China, in Japan, and a lot of countries, they say, No, you have to trust me to move forward. Right? It’s same breath. normal practice in Western Hemisphere, we do business during the day. And then you socialize in the evening, you go for dinner, you go for drinks, or whatever. In China, when you go to do business, before you talk business, you will socialize.
And one of my client approached me, and then they asked me, we’ve been drinking for last three days, when we’re going to talk business. And I thought, okay, if you’re drinking for last three days, that means you will not talk business because they haven’t established trust level they’re looking for. So they socialize, first, establish the trustworthiness. And if you are deemed trustworthy, then they will talk business as if the other way around in United States. So it’s all about perspective and how things proceed. And,
Roy Barker 13:43 Self-Awareness and Self-Efficacy Are Important
and it makes a big difference. Because if you come on too strong in those societies and tried to skip that socialization piece, they’ll basically just cut you out and say, we’re not going to do business with you, not only because we can establish trust, but you obviously don’t understand, you know, our cultural need to establish that trust moving forward.
Oh, yeah. And similarly, if you are going into some Latin American societies, that trust is built, not necessarily directly, it almost always is through an intermediary. You need a reference that someone can trust. So I, if I’m looking for a service, I will ask within my circle, do you know someone trustworthy and then I will go on recommendation, it works in the greater extent at all societies, but a lot more in certain societies. So we need to understand the dynamics of those cultural upbringing and cultural values to penetrate in those situations.
Charming and Disarming
Roy Barker 14:51 Self-Awareness and Self-Efficacy Are Important
Yeah, we we tend to forget that, you know, there are a lot of other cultures out there. And, you know, we live in our own world until we Don’t. And then sometimes it’s too late if we haven’t done our homework on that. Yeah.
And it is very relevant in these cosmopolitan societies. Because, yes, we are in the United States, but it’s a Global Village, we are interacting with people who have come to and from all across all corners of the world. And even though they speak the same language, they dress like ourselves, but they, subconsciously, they have a cultural value that we are not aware of. Right? Certain things can be perceived very differently. And so it goes both ways.
Roy Barker 15:36 Self-Awareness and Self-Efficacy Are Important
Yeah. So what of the 30 countries that you’ve worked in? What was the most difficult cultural environment that you’ve been in?
I wouldn’t say difficult, because they all are. They have the different values, and they are. But you just need to be aware and mindful. So the experience of I had a lot of countries that I have traveled, you have to adjust your expectation, and you have to adjust your routine to certain extent. For example, once I was working in Scandinavia, I think Denmark, it was, and I came back from work, stay in my hotel room start working again, before I knew it was already almost 830 in the evening, and as Oh, I better get out and eat something.
So by the time I got out, almost everything was shot. And I thought, Oh, I need to be careful, you know, I shouldn’t make it to that late for the week, I was working in Barcelona, and I was okay, I’ll make sure I’ll go for my dinner in time. So 730 went out, and almost everything was shut again. And then they said, Come back at 930. Because we don’t open for dinner that early. So and if you’re Brazil, it’s going even later, so.
So it’s not only the behavior is to society, how they the common language, the terms, I used to say, we’ll do that after lunch, we’ll do that before lunch. That lunch, is my perception was 12 1230. In Barcelona, it was 230. So, so I had to say no, I should be more specific in terms of time, rather than just a generic term after lunch, because after lunch means different things in different places.
Roy Barker 17:42 Self-Awareness and Self-Efficacy Are Important
And, you know, I’ve run into that before as well, you know, hearing where I’m from five o’clock, six o’clock, latest, you know, we’re sitting down to have dinner and you know, being in a place like New York or LA, you know, I’d be ready to go back to my hotel and go to bed at like, nine or 10 o’clock, and they’re like, hey, let’s go out and have dinner, you know, they’re just kind of getting their night started. And it’s, it’s, it’s, sometimes it can be kind of hard, you know, like to keep up if you’re not expecting that.
Yeah, absolutely. There are several layers of it that that goes and and this is kind of informal setting. But when you get into the formal settings, within the organization, the organization, culture and the practices and in negotiations and managing teams and working with a different person that may have a different cultural background or personality type, it gets very difficult. So we have to be a lot more aware and mindful.
Roy Barker 18:53 Self-Awareness and Self-Efficacy Are Important
Can you the first one you mentioned was the power index, I guess the, you know, like you were saying, maybe what China and Russia have a little bit different thoughts of their leader. So when we’re doing business in those countries with that culture? Do we start at the Do you have to start at the bottom and work your way up as far as you know, talk about, you know, maybe having a conversation about your product and if there’s interest or is it expected that you start at the top?
It depends what we are dealing with here. So for example, the higher up person, the boss has the ultimate responsibility and subordinate expect to receive clear instructions from the top. So if, if, for example, a boss says, I want to do this, I want some ideas, bring in your ideas.
He, in a lot of cases will lose credibility, because you’re the boss, you should tell us what to do. If you don’t know Why you’re the boss, they are expected to lead they are expected to give instructions. Whereas if you are, if you are in low index societies, Scandinavia is one of them. If someone is giving instructions to their subordinates, so well you hired me to do the job, then trust me, let me do the job. Why?
Why are you bossing me. So so there is a difference. And, and again, you don’t have to be in those countries to feel that, right. You can feel all those things in Fort Worth. And in Houston in New York, because we do come across those are those instances where people feel, and it goes all the way up to personality, some personalities, they like, specific things, and very, to the point things and some personalities, like reassurances and validation of what they’re doing the same time. So it’s, it’s a very mindful thing that we need to be aware of.
Roy Barker 21:01 Self-Awareness and Self-Efficacy Are Important
Yeah, and I think it’s a good point to, you know, remind that, even though, even though we’re in the states and you know, Fort Worth or Houston, that just because we hire the hire individuals, they are definitely that individuals. And that’s why we have to get to know them, because we have to, we have to understand, you know, what are the cultural differences, because it affects the way that we manage and our expectations, and I’ve got a great examples, I had a young lady that worked for me for a while that she was great at her job, but she was very, she was very quiet and reserved.
And so you know, I’m I asked her, can you research a couple things for me, get me some, you know, tell me about this more. She would do it immediately. But she was so reserved that she wouldn’t speak up. And so you know, maybe two, three hours later, I’m like, have you had time to look? Oh, yeah, I’ve got it right here. So you know, it’s something I had to learn to manage about her is that, number one, it’s okay to interrupt me and let me know, you know, when you get through, or that, I just have to know that, you know, I have to keep coming back to her to ask her when I’m ready for the information, and she will have that.
But there are some other individuals that, you know, you kind of have to pump the brakes on them. They’re like, they got the inflammation, and they’re fixing to get started on something. And you’re like, I have to go back. So, you know, again, I think this is why it’s so important that we get to know our teams. So we know how to manage each individually that we can’t manage a 10 2030 man team, all this exact same way.
Exactly. And to get the best out of right, we need to we need to find the ways that what takes them what what makes them feel assured and confident. And so that’s all the managers or to do to give them confidence. Yeah, into my showrooms and security, that whatever their style, whatever their preferences, you’re secured in a short and you have element.
Value Comes In Many Ways
Roy Barker 23:10 Self-Awareness and Self-Efficacy Are Important
Right, exactly. Yeah. And that’s another thing, you know, like that different things make different people feel valued. Again, we can’t just apply one method to everybody, we really have to take the time to get to know and that’s not a bad thing. I don’t think I’ve always suggested that we think, I don’t think we take that time nowadays. And you know, everything has gotten shortened up instead of even on emails, you know, good morning, how’s your day, you know, having a few pleasantries, it’s like, bam, it’s like, I need you to do this, or, you know, it’s just right, Kurt and to the point, and we’ve lost a lot of that social interaction, you know, in this digital world that we live in.
That is true. Again, it’s probably is generational, but it is happening. Yeah. So managing those expectations, understanding the requirements. So, there are several ways that we need to be mindful of
Roy Barker 24:10 Self-Awareness and Self-Efficacy Are Important
Yeah, for sure. So we got to the individual versus the collectivism, what what are what’s the number three on our list?
They are they are six as I said. So the two we already spoke about the turn one is, so we did power we did individualism collectivism. And then there is a uncertainty avoidance. So how societies respond to uncertainty. So that’s one so some some societies they they don’t mind. They just, they find themselves resourceful, innovative, and they said, No, I don’t need to know the details. I can just wing it, as we call it.
We all just go along and then find a way to do it. I don’t need to know the precise details, because other society to say, No, no, no, I need to know if there is a plan if there is a contingency and all that. So that’s another the third one, which is very important is the Hachette insight model describes them as masculinity and femininity, but it’s not the general masculine and feminine. It’s the competitiveness, how societies responds to competitiveness.
So do I celebrate my success and brag about it, or some society says, No, I don’t need to brag my overall harmony of the society is more important. So a lot of countries that we deal with, they have they scale, some are higher, some are lower, very competitive, we play hard, we celebrate odd and that sort of thing. And some, for example, Scandinavian countries, they are so low in that masculinity call, you can call them feminine, they care about harmony. So they don’t like to be differentiated because of the success.
So society is willing to pay more tax to bring the gap between rich and poor to bare minimum, whereas higher competitive societies, there’s no I have worked hard for it. And I, I want to be sending out so there is one, one of that. So we have seen these four, then this fourth, fifth and final, fifth and six were fifth is long term orientation against short term orientation. So some societies, they like to plan ahead, they like long term planning in their planning. They think, for example, in China, the business plan in as compared to us, we have a five year plan, or, you know, mostly three to five year plan business plan.
In China 50 year plan, it’s 70 year plan. Their long term orientation they don’t think of today and tomorrow, they are thinking long term, even the emergency plans for two, three years. That brings a different attitude, in expectations. So because I don’t expect results tomorrow, because my plan is for 50 years, so you can invest earlier, but in that duplex, reflecting society. in us, we are relatively short, term oriented, we like nicer house bigger house, it doesn’t have to be full brake, it can be relatively lighter, that can sweep away in one fluid, but like that nicer, shiny thing, whereas in other societies they want pure brake doesn’t have to be big, but it has to be solid that last generations, you know, in a lot of countries inherit their homes from the great, great grandparents.
So that’s the fifth dimension. The sixth one is indulgence. how society responds to pleasure. Some societies are very expressive, they like to express when they’re happy. They like to display emotions in public. Some societies don’t like that. Some, some societies are reserved. So if you are in Latin America, or Mexico, in particular, the life part like expressing the like expression, expressing the emotions. But if you are in other countries, such as Asian countries, in China, in particular, they’re very well preserved.
They don’t like to display their emotions in public even. Not much anymore. But if you go few years back, even family pictures, everyone appears very serious. They don’t like to smile because it’s a public image. They need to be seen as serious. in the same breath, if you are a professional meeting in some countries, if you’re smiling, you’re not taken seriously. Because you you are you are perceived to be joking around. You’re not expert, why you’re smiling. Yeah, doing serious business. Whereas in us in Western Hemisphere, you cracking a joke to break the ice is is traditionally very well received. So you should be behaving in that fashion. That is the cultural expectation. So these are the six dimensions that that culture brings into
Roy Barker 29:51 Self-Awareness and Self-Efficacy Are Important
play. Yeah, and you talk to the long term versus short term and something in and you’re very generous to say American cup. Knees look three to five years, because a lot of the public companies, if they can look three months out to the next quarterly earnings, that’s long, it’s long term for them. You’re right. And we make some really, you know, I speak from a little bit of experience that I work for, you know, a huge corporation for time.
And in the beginning, things were different. Because, well, you know, we’re basically kind of a monopoly. So, while we were still public, you know, focus was on service, and then some things happened in the industry. Then all of a sudden, you know, we were a smaller company. And we, we live quarter to quarter. I think the thing that that really killed me about it is, you know, we would spend, well, we would do some, we would take action to save $1 today, that cost us $5, in seven months from now, but because this affected the quarterly earnings, now, you know, somebody made a decision to not do it the right way.
So when you look at the different businesses, you know, the longer term planning, you know, 50 to 70 years, I mean, that’s a lot. But basically, you know, in general, do you find that they put in to place better plans, more manageable plans, when we’re looking at 10 years versus, you know, three months, six months or a year?
Yeah. And that’s a good question. And that the important thing, in that we are coming into the pure business territory now. That aspect, I personally, strongly believe a business should always be very well aligned with the vision. What is your vision where you want to go? Where are you heading? If you lose sight of your vision, and you are distracted by numbers, then you will lose sight. So if you know, this is where, for example, we are going, I need to go from Houston to fourth word.
And I know this is what I need to go. Now if right comes along, most amazing car in the world that is the best ever made. I can be tempted to write on it without realizing that he’s not even going before. Right, right. So he may well be going to San Antonio, or even know. So if we lose sight if we distracted by anything technology, competition, and lose sight of our own vision.
That’s where the problem occurs. So if we need to decide, what is my vision, where I want to go, where I want to lead, once I have that clear part define, then it helps me identify my strategy. Okay. Yes, it is short term, but it will move me away from my ultimate goal. So the decision making becomes a lot easier if we somehow businesses find a way to continuously assess against that vision are we aligned.
So a lot of times in small to medium sized, even corporate world, when you get distracted and bogged down into numbers and quarterly performance, because you want to win because you want to earn a bonus. The likelihood is you’re moving away from your vision. And when you’re moving away from your vision. And there we have tons of stories what happened, you know, quote, what happened to Kodak? You know, what happened to Blackberry, there’s so many business case studies where you can say, You are the gods, what happened to you?
Pay Attention To Others
Roy Barker 33:50 Self-Awareness and Self-Efficacy Are Important
Right, right. Yeah, you know, not to get too far off track, but you can look at Kodak as an example is they had the answer, right on the shelf. And, you know, they just would not pay attention, because, you know, and some of that, I think lassis more as a question, but a lot of that gets back to ego is we think we’re a leader. And we think we will set the pace. But there’s always a disrupter looking to disrupt.
Absolutely. And and this is where the blind spot occurs. Ego you hit the nail on the head, ego in a business environment. It can put you in a blind spot you don’t see what’s coming along your way blockbuster did to Netflix, it’s all the boys just trying to sell door to door. They can’t come beat. That’s what happens to. That’s what Netflix is it the blockbusters. The ego is equally even more important in personal. So our ego, restrict us to achieve even more because ego, start competing with people, we shouldn’t be competing people. I personally believe every single individual in this world has something to offer.
And there is something for me to gain from my ego will restrict them because I get distracted by the obvious behavior and obvious tone of voice or body language I’m seeing, forgetting that there is a wealth of benefit this person has for me, we can benefit from so the ego management, we get threatened easily, we get distracted easily. Let me give you an example of ego. very slightly personal example. And I use listen might find it useful A few years ago, my five year daughter was sat together and she she said to me, daddy, you look ugly and fat. I looked at her, and then I smiled. And of course, everyone else allowed it.
She there was surprised, but I because I was smiling. Everyone was and then I started reflecting on it as to why I’m smiling. Why I’m smiling to a common which in in a general terms is a very rude and disappointed. What say, you know, it’s a spectacle and disappointing. To cut long story short, hopefully, you’ll get to read the book, it has a whole chapter on it. Because my heart is at peace with my daughter. She was not at competition at any level, any psychological level, she is not posing any threat to me, psychologically, is consciously subconsciously, I’m at peace. She’s not threatening me. However, that comment if said, but anyone else in the world would have triggered my ego?
How dare you say that? How dare so my inner even though I may not have uttered those words, but my heart, my mind is thinking, and that happens every single day in our lives. We don’t have awareness of the ego triggers what triggers my ego. And once the ego is triggered, I’m not rational self make decision that I will regret. So the whole point of ego is same. It happens in company settings, business settings, and it happens in personal life every single day, several times a day. Yeah.
Roy Barker 37:45 Self-Awareness and Self-Efficacy Are Important
Yeah. And speaking of that, so throughout the different countries that you’ve worked in, how do egos compare? I mean, you know, as far as like, Americans have bigger egos, it’s more involved versus other countries. How is what did you observe there?
It is, it is, it is a combination. So you cannot drill down to purely on culture. Because there’s so many other things at play. So it’s not purely dependent on culture, it’s very much on personality types and the settings. However, the high PDI countries, they may behave differently, they have more, they are kind of they grew up in a society where they can take a lot more from their hierarchy, hierarchy.
So if boss is yelling at you, the chances of an American losing control a lot higher because they are not used to taking it. Whereas its bosses giving you hard time, the those societies, those individuals, they have learned to tolerate a little more, that doesn’t mean that it’s right or wrong. We’re not talking about the moral morality of it, we’re just talking about in terms of taking it how do we respond.
So, the term I use in my book quite frequently, never react always respond, because reaction is impulsive. And response is measured. So, if certain societies and certain personalities and certain awareness we are able to minimize the reaction and maximizers plants, so, so this is what leads and it’s a combination of a lot of things.
Roy Barker 39:50
Yeah, and just had a guest on that was a therapist that deals with the lot, you know of emotions, and the workplace and that was one thing we were talking about is that difference between reaction and response? And, you know, a lot of the literature out there says, you know, Count 125, it’s okay to have a reaction. I mean, that’s who we are we are, we react to certain things certain stimulus. But it’s the response, if we will count to five, we will have a much more measured response than what we normally if we would have just, you know, blurted out.
Yeah, so that doesn’t mean that we don’t want to communicate the displeasure or the seriousness of the issue. The response may well be strong. Yes, response may well be potent and formative. And However, it’s, it’s more appropriate thought through rather than impulsive.
Roy Barker 40:53 Self-Awareness and Self-Efficacy Are Important
Yeah. Yeah. Because what I’ve noticed is impulsive tends to, to lead to more personal responses, instead of a response on the issue, you know, target exactly, you know, we can have a very productive, hopefully conversation about something that we disagree. But the minute I say that, you know, I don’t like you, because you have a shirt on that’s, you know, it’s hard to it may be gray or green. But you know, I don’t like you know, the pattern of your shirt, your bad dresser, you know, we start it, we just start going off the edge instead of being on to the issue of, you know, what the, what the discord is actually about?
Absolutely. And it is built out to the ego management. And it’s so important because my ego is triggered, I’m losing sight of what is what is the issue? What are we talking about? I’m, my ego is kind of leading me in a non rational direction, where it’s getting personal, I want my ego at any cost me to win? Yeah, is to have the upper hand.
Roy Barker 42:04 Self-Awareness and Self-Efficacy Are Important
Yeah. And I think it’s, I don’t know, for my opinion, I’m not a scientist or in you know, in the behavior around, but it’s also my, it’s that the willingness is after if I can make you feel bad. Or if I can say something bad about you, then all of a sudden, it makes me? Well, in theory, they think it makes them a winner, or bigger, or better or whatever, when really, it just is the opposite. You know, people see people react that way.
You just have to shake your head and say, you know, what’s up with that, because, guess what, we still got the same problem we had before we deteriorated into this personal thing. And if we’re at work expecially, or well, even in a family environment, we need to solve the problem. And the way that we do that, I feel is through communication, we have to, sometimes we have to just say, you know what, we got to agree to disagree. Leave it at that. But you know, in a work environment more or less, you know, we may have actually come to a solution that we can both live with.
Importance of Communication
And it’s communication is important. You don’t even sometimes you don’t even need to solve the problem. Just hear hear them out. Yeah, right. Give them assurance that what you’re thinking is not wrong, necessarily. Know, however, you can lead the conversation that so you’re not suggesting the other person is wrong triggering their ego. it’s valid. It’s correct. However, we have mitigations, or will do blah, blah. So how we communicate is is very important.
Roy Barker 43:46 Self-Awareness and Self-Efficacy Are Important
Yeah. Yeah. And I think that’s another big point, too, is that if you have a feeling about something that we can’t say that that you’re feeling is wrong, I mean, you have that based on your lived experiences. So we have to, you know, we have to see what that’s all about. But then we get back to that perception issue is that, you know, your perception of whatever this is that is based in? Well, it’s your reality, but it’s based in your life experiences. That’s why you know, you perceive that
and that is possibly possibly is due to the personality types that we have several personality types, some personalities, we call them Myers Briggs terminologies they are. They’re driven by the feelings of rather than logic, so doesn’t mean that they don’t exist. We need to understand that the individual in front of me, may be driven by feelings. So I need to give them assurance, not logic, because logic will not go well. Give them assurance, right, that makes them feel comfortable rather than rather than giving them a logical judge. A note that we think will solve the problem. No, it won’t, because they are looking for emotional validation that what they had felt was correct, right? Because for damage,
Roy Barker 45:14 Self-Awareness and Self-Efficacy Are Important
yeah, and you mentioned this, I can’t speak culturally, I can speak to male, female, you know, a huge mistake that I’m guilty of in my relationship is, sometimes she just wants to talk, she doesn’t want an answer or solve the problem as hard. You know, the males, we, when we hear things, we always want to solve the problem where women, they’re pretty good about just like, letting us vent and listening to it.
Absolutely. And funny enough to hear there is a bias. And there’s a gender bias and feeling type and perceiving a logical type in males and females, however, it’s not guaranteed I have known males who have feeling types and females who were logical. So I agree with you, but just we need to understand. So just because they are male, they will be logical and the female they will be feeling during it’s not always true. Yeah. I have seen other way around as well. And but you’re right, if there are different personality types, we need to understand.
Roy Barker 46:19 Self-Awareness and Self-Efficacy Are Important
Yeah, and again, it gets back to understanding and taking, being present. Being mindful, taking the time to understand because, you know, it can drive a real wedge, and you know, now, I don’t have any problems saying, Are you just mitten? Are you looking for an answer? That way I can shift to just listen mode, or I can be, you know, the wheels be turning about do we need to try to solve this problem. And so, again, it I try not to be quite that abrupt, but sometimes we if we don’t understand the situation, it never hurts to just ask, it can save us a lot of heartache. Absolutely. Yeah, I agree. Yeah. All right. Well, it’s certainly appreciate you take the time to be here. Is there anything else any other points that you want to leave us with? Before we wrap this up?
I think the biggest takeaway for me too, for your audience is to become lifelong learners. Don’t take things for granted. There’s a lot of soft skills, that we should be aware of personality types, there are different types of people, value individual, every single person in this world has something to offer, it doesn’t matter who that person is, what their title is, they have something to offer. And if we have that attitude, it doesn’t matter, the race, color language culture, if I somehow believe I truly believe, to the core of my existence, that the person next to me has something valuable to, for me, my attitude will change. And I will have a different personality and outlook to the world.
Roy Barker 48:01 Self-Awareness and Self-Efficacy Are Important
Now know, I can’t say how strongly I believe in that, that we just, you know, we just have to be kind to each other. And know that me trying to put you down is not going to make me any better of a place and vice versa. That, you know, we have to understand that everybody has that value to offer at some point. Absolutely. Yeah. All right. Well, thanks so much for being with us. So do you have a habit or a tool? Is there something that you use in your everyday life that you feel adds a lot of value?
Absolutely, there are a few. So there are a few. So the one of the things I speak in detail in my book is, as I said, always respond, never react. And the other ones, I say, always find honest, be honest to yourself, be honest, you can mislead others, but never be misleading your own self. So be honest to yourself, and find your balance. Whatever you do, it has, you have to find the right balance, whether you want to whatever you do find the right balance of managing expectations. And finally, the third one is whatever you do whatever you enjoy doing, you have to be consistent. Do it consistently. Just doing once. Being nice, once is enough. To be nice. You have to do it day in, day out. minute in minute out. So honesty balance and consistent.
Roy Barker 49:39 Self-Awareness and Self-Efficacy Are Important
Yeah, and then that consistency thing too. I think we have to we have to look at our results over a long period of time. We can’t just do that thing once and if it doesn’t work out or and we don’t get the reaction that we’re looking for. That doesn’t mean that it’s wrong. It just means that it didn’t work. In that instance, and we can’t get discouraged, we still have to still have to keep doing that.
They keep doing it until we get it right. Thomas Edison says, I haven’t failed 700 times, I just know 700 times it doesn’t work.
Roy Barker 50:15 Self-Awareness and Self-Efficacy Are Important
Right. Exactly. Exactly. All right. Well, thanks so much for being with us. Also, tell us a little bit about I love the name of this Razalution that’s your company name. Tell us a little bit about Razalution? how, you know, who do you like to work with? How they could reach out and get a hold? You know, what you could do for them? And of course, how could they reach out and get a hold of you and the man we’re looking at?
Well, so resolution is primarily focusing on three fundamental aspects of business. We believe that there are three fundamentals that any business enterprise need to have in in sync to succeed. So the first one we touched upon it is vision, we need to have a clear vision, what we want to do what we want to achieve, and that drives the correct strategy. So vision and strategy.
That’s one, then the second piece in the any enterprise is your infrastructure, how you’re going to do it. So first bit is what, and then the next one is how, so you need to have a system, you need to have infrastructure, procedures, process, the infrastructure that you need to make it happen. And then the third, and the most important of all, is people who will do it. So your team, you need to have a team that can deliver your vision, using the process that you feel that works.
So these are the three fundamental aspects of any successful business enterprise at resolution. We give that advice, all three, what we call it, 360-degree services, fine-tuning the vision and strategy, putting in place the infrastructure in relation to process and then training and making your team competent through cultural awareness, personality awareness, team building and oral leadership. So that’s what we do at resolution. We can be firstname.lastname@example.org. So the book that we have written is purely focusing on the human side of things. And hopefully, we will contribute on other aspects in the coming future.
Roy Barker 52:41 Self-Awareness and Self-Efficacy Are Important
Okay, great. What’s your website that they can reach out there?
Yeah, it’s a razalution.com. Okay, our R A Z A L U T I O N.com. And we’ll be happy to be at your service.
Roy Barker 52:57 Self-Awareness and Self-Efficacy Are Important
Yeah. And I’ll be sure to include that in the show notes. And can they find information on the book there as well?
Absolutely. So there is book information, but there is an additional website, which is SalmanRaza.net, which is specifically for the book. So again, S A L M A N R A Z A.net. And this is primarily dedicated for the book and they can find a lot more about the book and how to get in touch.
Roy Barker 53:31 Self-Awareness and Self-Efficacy Are Important
Okay, awesome. Yeah, reach out, get a copy of this book, for sure. I think. My opinion again, it’s that, you know, with the digital age and texting and this, you know, it’s like we, we get further and further away from this human interaction. But I think that we really need to be conscious of everybody comes from a different place in how we treat people, how we react, how we have discussions, it’s very important, not only in business but also in our personal lives as well.
So reach out also, you know, if you’re needing some help with the vision, your infrastructure people, let salmon in his group tie that all together for you, put you on the right path to success. that’s gonna do it for another episode of The Business of Business Podcast. Thank you for listening. You can also find us at thebusinessofbusinesspodcast.com. We’re on all the majors, podcast platforms, iTunes, Stitcher, Google Spotify for not a one that you listen to please reach out, I’d be glad to add it and make your listening easier.
We’re also not on all the major social media platforms probably tend to hang out on Instagram a little bit more, so please send us a message we’d love to interact with you there. A video of this interview will go up when the episode goes live, so you can check that out over on our YouTube channel. Until next time, take care of yourself and take care of your business.